18 June 2011 Saturday Mood of the day: crestfallen from yesterday
My plan for the day was: no plan, just laze around for the day.
For the past few days, I have been tidying, throwing and cleaning some parts of my room.
Well, the cleaning of my room is not complete yet, hopefully I will get to finish it next week.
Looking through my friends' photos made me realised that they didn't ask me out, have they forgotten about me?
But then again, I am in no position to do the blaming on them because I was the one to shut myself in my own academic world.
I had no choice but to do so because there are many external negative forces preventing me from completing my university studies in place.
Therefore, I had to put my university studies as my first very first priority and willing to (have to) set aside other things first such as friends, family, dance and others (which are also important to me).
I desperately cling on to the journey of university studies without relaxing much because of several reasons, perhaps the reasons that only I (unlike my other friends) need to face.
The completion of university studies is even more crucial than any normal university students with an average/normal family background.
After my last exam day, I was very much relieved because there is no way the relatives are going to prevent/thwart me from completing my university studies.
It is like after completing a home run in baseball game or throwing the ball over the rugby stand/gate in a rugby match - lying on the green field of the game without a need to care whether anybody from the opposing team is attacking anymore.
Do I have to repeat whatever the relatives say or do, even sometimes doing underhanded ways just to thwart me from completing my studies?
What kind of relatives do I have?
I am very happy that my friends' relatives are so nice to each other, at least those I see in facebook.
Why can't my relatives be like that?
I hate to say whatever happen to me during friends meetup because they are negative.
Everytime I see my friends with happy faces during meetups, I wonder they are lucky that majority of happenings in their life are at least neutral or positive, unlike mine.
It is hard to be positive in the midst of a flood of negative happenings.
I do lost my positive self sometimes and it sure is hard to get it back on track, sometimes i fear one day, i may not get it back.
Now, I don't even want to see their faces, even if meet, I don't want to address them at all.
I will never forget what they did till now and I will not forgive them for what they have done.
