Sunday 1 March 2009I submitted my very important application last Friday. But I still feel very uneasy..it has been worrying me. What if I can't make it? I really really really really want to go!!!
My best friend asked me to go temple pray.
haha i am not Buddhist leh.
And she replied: as long as you are sincere..it is okay to pray.
Monday 2 March 2009Went out to study...time to study in a different environment...
Tuesday 3rd March 2009School.....
Wednesday 4th March 2009Something came back again.
I thought I was over it..perhaps just avoiding it and shifting my thinking to some other issues.
But it wasn't successful i think.
Rather ..i got confused.
Again..it made me draw closer to the issue just like the old times.
Like pulling me closer when I know i am not supposed to....not supposed to..not supposed to.
This time round..persuading myself seems to be even tougher to accomplish.
I will still try because reality forces me to do so.
Never ever get lured in because it will do me no good and I know the hard and sad fact about that.
Reality isn't going the direction that I wanted..reality is leading away from the direction that i wanted.
For this matter..I should walk the reality path not the other way.
I shall be brave
Thursday 5th March 2009I didn't dare to count down.
I don't want to.
I am scared.
Friday 6th March 2009Nithya smsed me and said: have u recieve any calls from the program?
That was the time i locked myself in my room..broke down and cried.
How can I be denied a chance to be interviewed?
There is no reason for them to do that.
I smsed my 2 other friends and all of them didn't recieve any calls.
I looked at my hp for many times - no missing calls..no smses....
How hard it is to face the harsh truth.
i guess i have no hope.
I got so upset...why do bad things always happen around my birthday?
I don't like it at all.
Saturday 7th March 2009Decided to call up the office and clarify.
No one answered my call..guess have to wait till monday.
By today..i have given up hope that i won't have a chance to get an interview.
How am I going to make sure I get to go?