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Again, i have reached to the point whereby i no longer have definite answers to any questions. Have i become a person who is getting worse in terms of character or improving? Should I continue to be such a person? Is it because of studies that i have to control the other sides of me? I am even suppressing my own emotions. For now, i can't feel anything. I seem to believe that after i finished my studies after the end of this year, I would have been the old me again. Will it really happen?
I see many factors are changing at the same time. One moment, i feel that i can trust people. The next moment, it just changes. Just like a revolving wheel of fortune, i don't know where it will be pointing at. As time goes by, i realised i could not depend too much on people. I have my two own feet, shouldn't have a need to rely on others. I should have ceased doing so. Feel guilty to actually rely on others. I should not be a burden to people. I don't want to be an absolutely irritating person.
This is the first time i have nightmares during this time of the year. Hmm, dun know why it leads to this. I hope it will cease giving nightmares to me. Because it seems so real to me. I have problems in differentiating dreams and reality.
I realise in anything, there is just a very thin line to define its boundaries.When different people are doing the same thing, others will view it differently. Aha, must be due to being subjective. I sometimes ponder about such certain real life situations, and indeed it is like that. I guess such views can't be eliminated. I tried to reduce such perceptions myself but i guess, to no avail.Trying to find equality in viewing people, cos i want to see whether i can help to reduce prejudice. Haha, seeing whether is it possible..but i don't think it is,, very hard to minimise.
I guess in life, there are still certain evils no matter what.
writtern @5:28 AM
