All of a sudden, i just feel so lost. I don't really wanna say what exactly did i feel that
way. I am like nor here nor there. I don't know where i belong. Just like a "stateless
person" in another sense. I just can't help but feel that way.
One of my friends were saying that i have more charm compared to him based on watever i
said. But it doesn't appear to be so. I seriously don't have charm. Seriously.. don't.. There is nothing special about me at all. Just one person that u can just ignore
conveniently. I dont have any special value in me. There are certain situations where u just
can't help it but be with me. Sigh..just feel so rotten inside.
Oh ya..nowadays was doing geo stuff and while i was reading, i happen to come across this
phrase, " compassion fatigue".Yup..this really kinda explains how i am feeling at certain
times. Really, at certain times, feel that i am too tired to show everyone equal kindness.
Hah,to certain ppl, it is certainly not worth it to be kind to them. In the end, after so
long a time, then i realised that person is just making use of my kindness. Too much to
handle. Yah, i could remember there was one time in primary school which really makes me so
disappointed, instead of being angry at her.
I feel like a fool. Being insulted indirectly and yet, i didn't notice it until the person
started insulting directly. I was at fault too cos i thought ppl are just bias towards tat
person without any concrete evidence. But i was just simply ignorant and didn't know wat
actually happened.Treat ppl nicely and welcome them with open arms, in the end, actually
attracting ppl who harm me eventually. I am really the biggest fool on earth. Didn't even
occur to me that ppl will think of so many motives formulating in their minds.
Sometimes, ignorance is a blessing but not always.
My eyes are so tired nowadays. In the end, i kept on looking at wrong things. Also, i keep on hearing things wrongly which made me confused. Haha..my friend was telling me that watever i do, i have a style of doing things. Strange me... I think i am too tired so happen to do "funny" things or actions.
