I think this is one of the tiring weeks i have gone through. Why? The reason is I have physical exercise the whole week - tues and thurs pe, mon tues wed fri dance practice. Somemore, i am actually sick and today i ran in the rain for napfa run. Hee, was commenting to my friend that how i wish the run can be done in instalments. ^_^.Hope dance club can pull through in the audition for teachers' day concert.
This morning, i heard from the morning announcements that there is going to be a second audition for the teachers' day concert.What??!!! Why??!!! Yesterday, i have been practicing almost non-stop from 1.30pm onwards to 6 plus. I need water....
I got people who commented on our dance item. Most of them praised us. They said that it is better than the rest of the items. Friend says that," can make it, cos i think of the 4 performances, dance's the best, the rock songs so noisy and out of tune." Classmate says that it is good. Must pray hard....
Haha, i was commenting to some of my friends about my new analogy which is very suitable for applying to present situation- the buy 1, get 1 more free. They laughed and said that it is interesting for me to link it like that. I don't know whether i should feel guilty or bad. But i really need a healthy mix of friends. For such a long time, i didn't manage to interact with the rest of my classmates. Now someone has been sort of accusing me that i have been doing some neglecting. Sigh, but what can i do? I really am so stuck that i not know what decisions should i made. Have you ever be in my position?? Being neutral is not exactly that easy. And i have already been stuck in such a position for so many years. Yah, that's my rewards for being so nice to everyone.
I gotta tell u that i am feeling irritated and frustrated. Why? Because my family couldn't let me study and do my hw in peace. My situation is that my familiy sleeps in my room on the dot at 10pm. I take a long time to finish all my homework and read up my notes, thus i will naturally exceed 10pm. Their sleeping affects me because i couldn't do what i want comfortably. Sometimes when i am in a good mood and keep on doing my work almost non-stop, they came in and sleep. That totally makeS me lose my concentration. Somemore, they keep on complaining that it is late and everyone should sleep. I really want to get things into their head and that is .....JC LIFE IS LIKE THAT!! THERE ISN'T ANY TIME TO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP!! THE TIME SPEND TO DO HOMEWORK IS NOT LIKE SECONDARY AND PRIMARY SCHOOL!! IF IT IS THAT EASY TO SCORE AND JUST SPEND AS SHORT TIME TO DO HOMEWORK AND REVISE, THEN A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL COME TO JC!!! HAVE THEY EVER SEE WHAT OTHER JC PPL ARE DOING TOO? THEY ARE ALSO SLEEPING SO LATE AT THE NIGHT, ACTUALLY IN THE MORNING.You know wat, they are restricting my potential to do a lot of things in one day. I don't know how should i solve my problem. Plus, they are contradicing themselves. They keep on telling me to revise and all that on a daily basis. Yah, i did that. Then they were sleeping and i was reading my notes. My father said: tommorrow, you are having test is it?? So strange. Tell me to study and revise daily. Then ask me whether i am having test the next day. -__________-""". wat is this? if they ponder and reflect wat they say, i hope they will realised wat they are telling me.I think of moving to my brother's room and locked myself in the room whole day long and made it like a my temporary bedroom for the whole 2 years throughout until i finish my A-levels. Their habits and lifestyle are restricting my own lifestyle. And they tell me to have good grades. How u tell me?? if they keep on restricting and disturbing me and affecting my mood. But thats mean i have to move all my books into there and his books into my room.. That's a lot of books. Also, i am actually scared of sleeping in that room because it is near the kitchen. It kind of spooks me bah. I just love my room, it is big and is furthest away from the kitchen and all that. Ah, wat to do??I know i am kinda cold slowly towards x but that is because i feel that x have hurt me so much and the others too. I don't even want to look straight into x's face, because that face is the one which hurts ppl and yet do not realise wat x-self is doing. i don't understand how can x say such things while keeping things so seriously and straight-faced. X has given me a tight spot,, so tight that i am going to suffocate real soon, any moment now. But x does not realised it. Friend keep on saying i too nice already. Yah, i think i kind of realised it now. What to do, x doesn't have anyone else? Because of x, i am getting shunned in a certain way and having less contact with the rest of the people. I can't even have personal conservations with my friends. Why does certain people do this to me? What did i do wrong? By friending them? No one is helping me lighten my burden effectively. As years gone by, i keep on having burdens until the time, loads of burden are going to break my back. Should i see a counsellor?
I keep on wondering why people loves having relationship? Hmm, i am just going to say my opinion. For me, i feel that it is not necessary or essential to have relationship because after a short period of time, the relationship may be strained and it will break. You will have to pick up the pieces in your life and do some moaning for a certain period of time, go into depression and be a wet blanket for many months. Is it worth it? Neglecting your friends and studies probably too by weeping after a broken relationship which has happened long time ago. I know that time heals the heart and it sure takes infinity time to do so. Anyway, people will die and we all will have to part. If you have a beloved, won't there be severe heartbreaking and moaning for years? My junior died in a car accident and he was only sec 1 at that time. His gf cried so hard after knowing his death. I feel sec 1 is too young to have relationship. Hah, but time changes and i guess it is the norm nowadays.
Personally, i do not think of going into a relationship or getting married. Haha. One reason is that no one likes me anyway so why should i be thinking of such things. Isn't that "dream on"? I don't have any special qualities that people will like me. So ugly somemore, heez. Secondly, i use this quote to say what i sort of feel. The times may change but it is applicable to a certain extent.
" For a girl, love takes up the whole of her life.
For a boy, love is just part of life."
